Tuesday, April 27, 2010

So Long Insecurity!

This past Saturday I met up with some sweet girlfriends and we all went to see Beth Moore at FBC Woodstock. I have been trying to get through the book for a few months, but I'll be honest...I've struggled with 'putting on my new self.' I learned this past Saturday that I'm being silly and I've been holding on to my pride. I still haven't finished the book yet, but I WILL FINISH THE BOOK. If I know you in real life I have probably thought about you at least once since I've been reading this book (seriously, Mom, Amanda, Ashley, are you reading this? You can borrow my book once I'm finished) and it's not a bad thing at all. I just want to share with the people I love how to deal with some of the same things I'm struggling with too :)

I am in the midst of reading the book and I wanted to note a few things that I have been able to relate to, in one way or another.
  • Insecurity can make you act like an idiot in female relationships. Is it horrible that I've been so insecure that I've been afraid to introduce two girl friends because I was afraid that they would like hanging out with each other more than they would like to hang out with me? Geez, just typing this I sound like a high schooler. Ugh, so embarrassing.

  • Insecurity can make a Mom to be overcontrolling or just generally out of control. I'd like to tweek this to say Wife, since I'm not a Mom yet. There have been so many times that I have been so insecure while Mike was out of town for work. I've had those crazy, "I'm not with him, I can't control what he's doing or who he's talking to or who he's looking at." Clearly, this is NOT Mike's problem. This is a Michelle problem. Again, as I am typing this out, I feel like an idiot.

  • Insecurity can turn a gifted person into the competition. Hello, old job. The way I was 'evaluated' at my last job was based on how you 'stack up' to your peers. Talk about being competitive...every one is busting their butt to get "exceeds". I often felt like I couldn't or shouldn't ask for help because I didn't want the 'gifted' one to know I didn't know the answer.

  • Insecurity weighs heavily in weight issues. Not so much the weight issue for me, but I have definitely struggled with being comfortable in my own skin. I'm going to try to let that all go and BUY that running skirt even if I don't have 'runner legs'...yet. ;)

  • Insecurity can talk us into doing things we don't even want to do. Hello, high school and college days. I think everyone falls to peer pressure at some point in their life. Heck, there are a lot of things I've done in my life that I'm not necessarily proud of, but I think everyone has. So, its time for me to let those things go too.

  • Insecurity can make us give an entirely wrong impression. Wow. This one is absolutely me. I'm a shy person. Reserved. And I've been told more than once that this tends to send out 'snobby' vibes. I'm making an effort to be more out going and to not be so shy. In fact, I really came out of my comfort zone at Beth Moore when I ran into a bunch of blog friends (strangers) and I hugged their neck and introduced myself. That is definitely NOT me. And, I'm armed with the proof:

I'd just like to add that I was NOT having a great hair day because it was rainy and humid and gross outside...but....back to letting go of those pesky insecurities!

And from Chapter 8...Insecurity can roar it's ugly head when....

  • Your boss calls you into their office to speak to you.
  • Somebody give a presentation in class right before yours...and it's fabulous.
  • You met someone you really admire and said something stupid.
  • You have a new haircut. And it's hideous. (Oh yes, I've had a bad hair cut - I wrote about it here)
  • Your husband's on a business trip, and you can't get ahold of him. (see 2nd bullet point above)
  • You poured your heart to someone and they didn't get it.

I hope to add to my 'favorites' after I finish the book. But until then, please be patient with me. I'm a work in progess. And, I'm on nobody's time, but HIS time. :)


  1. Wow!! Probably my favorite post yet, and I love all of your posts. I can identify with every single one of those.You've inspired me to do a post like that sometime when I'm done with the book, too. Thanks for doing this. Love you!!!!

  2. I'm so glad we got to meet! I just wish we got to sit together!

  3. I love your post!!! It was awesome. I know exactly what you mean on every single one of these insecurities. BTW Thank you again for the note pad from target. It makes me think of you each time I read it.